This is a rapidly unravelling story and all efforts have been made to keep this article up to date. However, this is not intended as an information guide and we encourage that you check your emails and follow the latest advice from BLSMD, QMUL and the Government. If you would like to write about this topic, please email circadian@bartslondon.com

The philosopher Albert Camus puts beautifully: “There were no longer any individual destinies, but a collective history that was the plague, and feeling shared by all. The greatest of these were feelings of separation and exile, with all that that involved of fear and rebellion.” This is certainly true for the international students at BL, many of whom are now torn on what is the best thing to do. It is clear that panic and fear will only feed into a vicious cycle and will divert us from reacting to situations rationally. Yet, we have to acknowledge that anxiety and doubts we are feeling right now is normal, we are human.

In times of uncertainty we will feel unsettled as things can change within weeks, days or seconds, the point being - it will last as long as we don’t know. It is only natural to want to spend this time at home. It is tricky to define exactly what “home” means, as home doesn’t necessarily need to exist in the physical world. This may be with our families, our loved ones, or here with our flat mates. But what if home is out of our reach during this time? Or indeed, what if by going home we put others at risk? Is it worth it? This is the question facing many of the international students including me. Thank you Elisa, Andreas, and Stephanie for sharing their insight with me.

One of the main themes that is running in the heads of students is the following moral dilemma. We want to go home to be with our families now, but realistically we want to be able to be with them next year and the year after that. “Will I put my parents or my grandparents at high risk if I go home? Is it better if I stay here even if it means I will be alone and away from them?” There is an internal battle between choosing the present ease of mind that being home will bring against possibility of risking our and the future of those around us.

Choosing to go home in high risk situations might be viewed as acts of panic and despair but how can we be expected not to risk “tomorrow” when we are not even sure how many “tomorrows” will exist? I don’t say this to sound dramatic, but I believe it is this unknown that pushes us to feel torn between our emotions and rational side. As I said, things change every second and everything is dynamic – it is no surprise if our decision making is therefore dynamic too. Today might be a good day to go home, tomorrow might not be, next week might be fine. Adjusting to the time and situation as days come will allow us to make the better judgement not out of fear but out of reason.

Another fear students who might go home have is to do with the University curriculum and assessments. Although QMUL Principal Colin Bailey has said international students won’t be disadvantaged if they choose to go home, students are still somewhat sceptical. It feels like the University is as confused as we are in terms of what action to take and not having firm protocols in-situ is popping even more question marks in our heads. Yet, I don’t think the student reaction is necessarily a reflection of how much we trust the word of our institution. Rather, I think it is more due to fear of the possibility of not fulfilling what we planned to do and to progress to the next year of our training. We are (mostly) aware of the sacrifices in terms of time and effort we are putting into our degrees to become doctors or dentists, and even the slight risk of jeopardising this is scary.

“Surreal. Movie-like. Disorienting. Disconcerting.” These are the words which stuck with me the most through my conversations with students. It seems like none of us expected to go through times where it is a possibility for us to not reunite with our families for unknown periods of time - or if we do, there is no guarantee when we can come back to our adopted home here in the UK, Barts and The London. This seems like something we read about in history books. It just doesn’t seem real. Yet it is. These dualities and dilemmas will take time to adjust. Experiencing this will teach us a lot about fear, anxiety and uncertainty but also about one’s duty to our community, responsibility and reason.

I want to finish the article with my recollection from our last day at placement. On Thursday 12th, we received an email indicating we won’t be expected to go from the 16th. The following morning, we received another email to drop in our logbooks on Friday 13th to the student office in Homerton. We met up in the morning at the Homerton Education Centre; we could sense the quietness. There was something that changed since yesterday afternoon in the hospital but none of us could tell exactly what. We chatted about what was going on for about an hour then left our logbooks. We said our goodbyes: “See you at the exam… or after Easter?… or…” In all honesty, we had no idea until when we were saying goodbye or to whom - our friends, the placement or to our normal lives?