Coronavirus got you down? Twiddling your thumbs at home wondering how on earth you can possibly complete Uni work when the world has gone mad? Well, we’ve got you covered here at the Circadian - here’s a handy list of pandemic themed things to do at home that may help you regain the sense of having any control over your life (although probably not).

It’s finally time to go through all those half empty bottles of booze in your flat. Whose were they originally? Doesn’t matter. Use everything you have to make the ultimate self-isolation cocktail - the Quarantini. Face Maskarita. Placebo Colada. Why not go all the way and add mouthwash and hand sanitiser! As I think they say in the NHS, the higher the alcohol content, the better.

Learn some new recipes! We all know that panic buying out there has led to a more limited food supply which will surely get those creative cooking juices flowing. Time for some creative ingredient swapping - can you swap that oh-so-difficult-to-get couscous with something more common, like blended cauliflower or broken glass. Alternatively, you can do what I do - eat out of tins and sit around complaining about not being able to get pasta.

A good board game will anyone lucky enough to be stuck with you will surely distract you from coming face to face with the true fragility of the society you live in! Personally, I like to head on down to a charity shop for a truly esoteric find. My favourite so far is a game about women’s history made in 1992. I’ll let you know how it goes. Once the flat game of Risk has ended - 12 hours and counting - I dream in little plastic soldiers…

Make a list of all the things you’ve been meaning to do but ‘haven’t had the time’- no excuses now! Then tear it up and open Netflix. I see you. There’s nothing to be ashamed of- we’re all in the same boat here. Personally, I’m rewatching Breaking Bad to see if I can make my own batch of crystal meth.

If you’re in the top decile and feeling the loss of lectures, why not start work on a cure! Some of you keen beans out there must definitely have some kind of weird basement lab or access to a top secret research facility. If not, why not head on down to the Blizard Building and ask if you can borrow some of their equipment? Just remember, we’re counting on you!!

Arts and crafts are a great way to spend your time in this troubled period! Unfortunately, we think making photo frames from dried pasta is out, but all those takeaway leaflets, religious group ads, and academic journals are perfect for making your very own vision board. Finally, you’ll get the special pleasure of opening all those bills! Don’t worry, a friend’s sister’s husband’s cousin works for the government and I heard that you don’t have to pay.

We’re all taking extra good care of our personal hygiene these days, and rightly so which makes it the perfect time to harness that impulse and clean the house! Personally I’ve not managed to make it translate, so if you’re successful with this tell me how. Please. I’m being serious I need my deposit back. I can’t live like this. Help me

If you’re really really bored, why not try writing an article for Circadian. You can write it about any topic and it gets you away from your annoying flatmates just when you need it. In any case, I hope this short column will help you weather the emotional storm of eventually witnessing the collapse of civilisation. Stay safe everyone!