Circadian

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Agony Plant - Bea Greene

“I want some new plants to put in my flat, but I have never owned one and don’t know where to start. I want something that will survive being left for while I travel home.” - Sam Bloom

For you a Zamaflora would be perfect. To keep this plant alive, just don’t run it over with a tank or throw it on a bonfire. This simple but elegant plant has no business being this durable. Hell will freeze over before this plant kicks the bucket. If you manage to kill one, please write in and tell me how.

“Right now my bedroom is covered in all the fake ivy you can get online, I really like how it looks but I can’t help but wish it was the real thing. I don’t know anything about keeping ivy alive or if I can even grow it to look like the fake stuff. Help!” - Rosie

Ah yes, the fake Ivy. The real substitute is English Ivy which notoriously needs a LOT of watering and does not grow well in­doors, instead may I suggest a Devil’s Ivy or golden or silver Pothos. If you have a flare for the dramatics a Devil’s Ivy will suit you well. A very re­sistant and agreeable fellow (please see being dropped off my fridge and not caring at all) it will tell you what’s wrong well before it starts dying. Droopy leaves? Water. Yellow leaves? Fertilizer. It grows very quickly and you can really easily create that ivy climbed bedroom of your Pinterest dreams without getting any arti­ficial plants.